You tell a secret, you're an attention seeker. You don't tell a secret, you're still attention seeking.

You let someone in, you're easy. You don't let someone in, you're too uptight.

You've had sex, you're a slut. You haven't had sex, you're a frigid little bitch.

You wear make up, you're a slag. You don't wear make up, you're ugly.

You smoke, you think you're cool. You don't smoke, you're a loser.

You drink, you're an alcoholic. You don't drink, you're a pussy.

You read, you're a nerd. You don't read, you're stupid.

You eat, you're fat. You don't eat, you're a freak.

You can't please anyone. Ever.